


Antivan Rose, Silver Heart

by MMRichter



Series: Adrestia Tisiphone Lahkesis Adaar [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Anger, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Childhood Trauma, Class Issues, Comfort, Comforting, Confessions, Dating, Discrimination, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fantastic Racism, Fluff and Angst, Heartache, Hurt/Comfort, Hurting Hero, Literal Sleeping Together, Loneliness, Loss of Parent(s), Night Terrors, Nightmares, Past Character Death, Politics, Protective Girlfriend, Reveal, Revealing Past Trauma, Sitting In Front of the Fire, Sleep Deprivation, Sort Of, Survivor Guilt, reassuring, working together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26324497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MMRichter/pseuds/MMRichter
Summary: After a fraught and emotional mission, Inquisitor Adrestia Adaar is staying in Skyhold to recover and heal. However, the emotional toll has begun opening a multitude of old wounds. Now, however, she has a special person by her side: her romantic partner, the compassionate and brilliant Josephine Montilyet. Sensing her lover's plight, Josephine offers comfort and an open heart and mind, and so learns of all the pain Adrestia endures and yet never before voiced.A story and account about Adrestia's past: where she came from, how her parents came up with her name, her life before the Inquisition, and how it prepared and shaped her views, thoughts, and convictions, and how she tries to be the Inquisitor.
Relationships: Female Adaar/Josephine Montilyet, Female Inquisitor/Josephine Montilyet, Inquisitor/Josephine Montilyet
Series: Adrestia Tisiphone Lahkesis Adaar [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1740847
Kudos: 12





	Antivan Rose, Silver Heart

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hello, fellow readers and writers. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you like it. As you saw, this is basically the backstory for my Inquisitor Adaar. Now, originally, this was part of a larger story, but I thought it could also stand on its own as a standalone story. So, I did a little editing and realignment to make it more contained and expanded on some more parts. I also plan to write more stories for her, so this is also for future reference and make it easier to find. So, basically, if you decide to read one of my other stories and run into a part that sounds like this one, you're not seeing things. In any case, thank you again for reading, I hope you like it, and if it sounds familiar, I hope you still like it. And here ... we ... go:
> 
> _There used to be a greying tower, alone on the sea./ You became the light on the dark side of me._ -Seal, 'Kiss From A Rose'

Seated at her desk and talking to one of her assistants, Josephine didn’t initially look up when another person entered her office. However, her mood soared when she saw Adrestia again there.

“Inquisitor!” Josephine formally greeted but the delight was evident in her voice. “You’ve returned.”

“Yes, as I promised.” Adrestia said as Josephine finally handed several letters to her aide. “All is well, Ambassador?”

“All is going to expectation, Your Worship…” Josephine said as her assistant took her leave, Adrestia giving a kind nod to the aide as she passed. Now that they were alone, Josephine’s pretense softened. “How are you feeling?”

Adrestia approached as she admitted, “I am getting better, I think. Right now, however, I think I need to stay with the people I hold most dear. So, Ambassador Montilyet…” 

Now, next to the Antivan woman’s desk, Adrestia knelt next to Josephine, and her voice lowered and sweetened when she continued, “Would you mind terribly if I spent the rest of the day by your side, even in a professional capacity if necessary?”

The couple’s eyes finally met again. Adaar’s golden eyes with their crimson rings around the irises were regarded as piercing and scary to a lot of people, but the Antivan woman saw the beauty and warmth in them. Now, with them filled with affection and admiration only for her, Josephine’s heart raced. In much the same way, Adrestia took in Josephine, her bright and alluring hazel eyes, the lovely blush on her cheeks, the small smile on her lips… 

Josephine finally replied, keeping her voice even though she was still enthralled, “That sounds quite agreeable to me, Mistress Adaar.”

“Lovely.” Adrestia said with a smile, “So, what’s on the agenda for today?”

Josephine tried to relay as formally as possible, “I have several missives, correspondences, and accords to fashion. Oh, since you’ll be here, there are several items I would like to get your opinion on.” She glanced over and saw Adrestia’s gaze still upon her. Her temperature now rising, Josephine fought not to sound flustered. “We also have … 3 visiting parties of various dignitaries arriving today, two in the afternoon and one in the early evening.”

“I see. And do you think it would be too much if I accompanied you on these meetings?”

“On the contrary. I believe your presence will do a great deal in ensuring successful relations.”

“That’s good to hear.” Adrestia tenderly took Josephine’s hand into her own. “Lady Montilyet, you continue to be an absolute wonder.”

Josephine giggled. “You are much too kind, Inquisitor.”

“It’s the truth. And I mean it, Josephine, from my heart.” The couple started to close the distance … when the kitchen bell for lunch rang out. Both sighed in unison. “Hmm… seems there’s other things to attend to first. Lady Montilyet, would you allow me the honor of joining you for lunch?”

“I would be delighted, my Lady.”

Adrestia went to stand, but Josephine kept her clutch on Adaar’s hand to stop her. The qunari woman turned back. Quickly, Josephine pressed her lips to Adrestia’s, held for a moment, then pulled back before Adaar could react, stealing the kiss.

With Adrestia still breathless, Josephine stated, “Okay, now let us depart.”

Adrestia snapped out of it as Josephine rose to her feet, and the pair exited the office together…

-X-

Despite some interruptions and brief meetings with others, Adrestia and Josephine stayed together for a lovely day. Throughout, the couple played fine hosts and were lovely compliments to one another; Adrestia marveled Josephine’s usual brilliance while Josephine was not surprised yet continually impressed at Adrestia’s poise and comfort in the stead. With each visiting party, Josephine practically sings with appropriate etiquette and repartee for each different foreign nobility with ease and knowledge. She is a master, and to Adrestia’s ears and eyes, it might as well be a form of magic: serenading potentially savage scorpions then taking off with their valuables instead, all without a hair out of place or her lovely lilt lifting. 

At the same time, Josephine watched as Adrestia blended with and charmed the dignitaries remarkable aplomb; despite having little knowledge of them, their motives, or their character, Adrestia only needed a few moments to pick up on their nuances and demeanor, and then quickly adjust her own behavior to best placate them. Josephine often heard of the slander hurled at people of Adrestia’s race, of them being towering savages of little subtlety or understanding. Even with her own disagreement, Adrestia is a thorough rebuke of those ideas: her strong physique belies a deft mind, and her stature only adds to her elegance.

The first meeting that afternoon was a series of negatives that all curved into success. It started with a faux pas as the Marquis, Marchioness, and their retinue handed their coats to Adrestia, mistaking her for a servant. After being informed of Adrestia’s position, the Marchioness immediately followed that accidental prejudice with an actual one; she made several disparaging comments about Adaar’s race- including the slur Adrestia hates the most- under the cover of Orlesian. After reiterating that she was indeed Inquisitor, Adrestia proceeded to respond to the Marchioness’ remarks … in perfect Orlesian, shaming the noblewoman for using such ‘crass and vile term’! The whole visiting party went pale as they realized the qunari woman knew exactly what they were saying about her. Josephine then went onto reveal that she knew that the noble family were in Skyhold only to ask for protection in the first place. That knowledge along with the nobles’ mistake and their frantic attempts to atone for their insults led to easy negotiations for the Inquisitor and the Ambassador.

The next meeting was with a Fereldan nobleman and military leader. A proud and unapologetic man, upon meeting the Inquisitor, he seemed to question and even challenge Adaar’s acumen and prowess. Josephine responded with a glittering account of Adrestia’s accolades and accomplishments. Along with that, Adrestia called upon her experience dealing with this type of person and began offering compliments, praise, and even flattery for the general. The nobleman was easily brought along with this approach, and by the time the two women were done talking with him, he would agree to anything they proposed to him.

The final meeting was led by a young Antivan socialite and an old acquaintance of Josephine’s, whose parents and noble family would agree to anything she requested. Josephine rekindled their connection, while the socialite was quite interested in Josephine’s rumored ‘new flame’. Thus, Adrestia went about charming the socialite, to make a good impression of herself to a friend and practice for when she hopefully meets Josephine’s family one day. Thankfully, the socialite appreciated romanticism and passion just as much as Josephine and many Antivan people. Thus, Adrestia allowed herself to be flowery with her words, more emotional when speaking on matters, and more openly affectionate with Jospehine even. It was always lovely to indulge this way when she could, if only to see much it delighted Josephine to receive it. Thankfully, the socialite was also taken with her demeanor, voicing her approval and even sometimes letting out dreamy sighs of her own. Meanwhile, another chance for Adrestia to show off her own experience ; recognizing the odd behavior of one of the socialite’s newer hangers-on, Adaar subtly tested them and, once she was certain, outed the follower as a spy. With that, Josephine easily gained the socialite and her family’s support (and her friend’s approval of her paramour).

-X-

The night had finally fallen and settled over Skyhold. Some had returned to shelter in pursuit of sleep and relaxation. A lot were carousing and unwinding at the tavern. The majority however had put their work to rest for the day. Usually, Josephine would still be working at full tilt at this time … but not now, not with her inquisitor here and in need of her.

Adrestia and Josephine were resting in the ambassador’s office, the couple sitting on a custom-ordered couch in front of the fire. Both had slid off their shoes, with Adaar stretching out her feet while Josephine’s were still swathed in her silk stockings. Adrestia sat in the far corner of the couch against the arm, enjoying the increased length with one leg outstretched down it, and Josephine sat between Adaar’s legs resting back against her chest. Both were reading reports and correspondences with Adrestia reading over Josephine’s shoulder. 

Adrestia held Josephine close, her arms around her lady’s waist, breathing in the scent of her hair and sweet fragrance of the perfume on her neck. Every so often, she would take a moment to drop light kisses on Josephine’s cheeks and nape … and give teasing little nibbles of her neck and ear. Josephine silently reveled in the tenderness lavished upon her and the lovely comfort of being with Adaar, wrapped in her girlfriend’s arms. Normally, she would never be in such a casual, intimate position in her office, lest they be interrupted or happened upon in a vulnerable state. Adrestia’s presence, however, melted those reservations away. Josephine eventually let out a dreamy sigh…

Adrestia asked attentively, “Is everything alright, dear? Something wrong?”

Josephine replied blissfully, “Quite the opposite, honestly. This is so … wonderfully pleasant, that I imagine I could get very accustomed to it.”

Adrestia paused for a moment before asking, “You mean that? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?”

Josephine leaned back further and caressed Adrestia’s cheek to look into her eyes. She spoke softly against her lips, “I mean every word. Having you here is a joy…” She punctuated her statement with a light kiss before turning back to her reports. “In fact, I was just thinking of … how much I’ll miss it whenever you set out again.”

Adrestia was starting to feel better, but her troubles were slowly flowing back to the forefront, bleeding back in from a part of herself she had only hinted at or otherwise hidden. The trip through the Fade only made the pain worse. However, now, she had people to share it with and especially a love who would welcome a chance to help her. Her instincts and her history tell her to simply continue enduring it, but she did not think she could anymore … and she did not want to, for the first time. Adrestia took several fortifying, shuddery breaths, and prepared to open herself and pour everything old and painful out of herself.

“Josephine?” Adrestia finally said barely over a whisper, Josephine humming in response. “I’ve realized that I know all about your family … yet I haven’t told you anything of mine.”

Josephine’s eyes widen briefly as she immediately felt something important was about to take place. She kept her demeanor calm even as she recognized the gravity of this matter. “I can tell it’s a sensitive topic for you, My Lady. I did not want to intrude or cause you more pain… We still do not need to speak of it if you don’t want to or you’re not ready.”

Her voice remained steady even if her words halted, “No… No, I need to… and I want… I want to share it with you.”

Josephine gave her natural empathy, “Only if you’re sure you’re ready, and we can stop any time if you need to.”

Adrestia slowly nodded in acceptance. Josephine put her work to the side and turned to sit upright on the couch so she could properly look at her romantic partner. Adrestia began…

“My father … is Sionne Adaar and my mother is Khatijah Adaar. I am their only child. Under the Qun, my papa was a farmer specifically for herbal and medicinal plants, for things like poultices, potions, vitaar, and things like that. Funny thing about it is despite his ‘assignment’, papa was always smooth and light on his feet; truth is, he loved to dance.” Adrestia gave a small smile that made Josephine smile. “My mother, however… Under the Qun, she was a Tamassran: a sort of priestess-spiritual guide- teacher-caretaker-and several other duties. It’s almost a mix of Revered Mother, an Elven Keeper, and a Knight-Captain, along with some other authority figures. Tamassrans are essentially the leaders of the Qunari faith; without them, the whole thing falls apart.

My mother, my Tama, specialized in therapy: soothing the troubled and shaken, comforting people, lending a sympathetic ear, helping new followers from other races become adjusted- that duty always made a little sad to talk about- giving people any advice she could, helping people resolve disagreements, and generally talking and listening to people… 

But both my parents had a secret: they both had magic in their blood. My father’s father, my mother researched and found out, his magic manifested extremely late: when he was in his mid-20s and of course after he’d already fathered my father. My mother, however, hers manifested or ‘awoke’ as she called it at the normal time, just when she was starting her Tamassran lessons.”

Josephine lost her breath at that revelation, gasping in slight shock. “Your mother was a mage?! But how did she keep it hidden?”

Adrestia continued, “Part of Tamassran schooling is complete physical discipline and control, ‘for how can you teach control to others if you cannot control yourself’. As she told me, her magic manifesting wasn’t as dramatic as most. She was about 9, and she was in her ritual meditations. Then, she felt something ‘calling’ her, and then felt her body and spirit change, naturally and irreversibly. She always said the timing of it was the luckiest she’d ever been. She didn’t know what it was at the time, but she knew she couldn’t tell anyone about it. When she realized it was magic was the same time she learned about ‘saarebas’; she learned that if she became one meant she’d never get to see or talk to anyone ever again, and that meant she knew she definitely could never use it or let anyone know.”

Josephine again empathized. “That sounds awful. To live in such fear, to have to deny yourself to survive. I cannot imagine.”

Adrestia briefly nodded before she continued, “My Tama agrees. Fortunately for her, being trained in complete self-control, self-knowledge, and discipline is also incredibly good training for warding off demons. Still, even after she left the Qun, she never learned or practiced her magic… So, eventually, my parents found each other, connected and confided in each other, and, after a while, fell in love, a dangerous thing under the Qun. So, with all their secrets and all their doubts, when they found out my Tama was pregnant with me … it wasn’t a difficult decision at all. They snuck aboard the first ship out of Par Vollen and never looked back.” Adrestia saw the gentle dreamy smile on Josephine’s face and smiled as well; she knew her Antivan lady would see and appreciate the romanticism in her parents’ history.

“Now, there were obvious dangers. The biggest was that Tamassrans have a lot of knowledge and information of the Qun’s inner workings, a lot that they wouldn’t want to get out. So, the bad part about that was that a lot of Ben-Hassrath wanted my mother returned or dead. The good part … Tamassrans train Ben-Hassrath, so she could sense them miles away. Fortunately, she became less of a priority when they saw she and we were just living and not making a scene or statement, and then more pressing issues kept coming up like the Blight then the Arishok trying to raze Kirkwall. Eventually, direct attacks stopped coming, though I’m certain they still watched us.

My parents settled in Western Rivain. Naturally, my papa had to take on some mercenary work, and that’s where he discovered he’s actually quite good with a staff.” Josephine gave a smile and nod recognition at where Adrestia inherited some of her skill. Adrestia continued, “Mostly, however, he continued to cultivate and farm medicinal and magical plants and flora. My mother, while she didn’t practice magic, did start learning some alchemy, and so would use the plants to make potions, panaceas, salves, and other concoctions… But- and based on the time, it had to happen really fast- I think my mother started to miss her Tamassran duties; she loves talking to people, listening to people, and trying to help them through their problems in whatever way she can. So, eventually, my parents opened a kind of ‘holistic apothecary’ where my Tama could sell her potions and formulas- they didn’t call them that, mind- then she could offer ‘counsel, guidance, therapy’ along with their purchase. It worked pretty well in Rivain, where people like a little bit of ‘exoticism’ in their shopping, and soon a good number of patrons would come to the shop just to talk to my mother…

Then, they had me. They both say that as soon as they saw my eyes, they knew they’d made the right decision; my papa’s eyes are gold, and my Tama’s eyes are red, so my having both colors is perfect.” Josephine gave another warm smile at the story, easing Adrestia slightly as the qunari woman continued, “I also think they both were really happy and excited they would get to name me, and that’s how I became Adrestia Tisiphone Lahkesis Adaar.”

Fully engrossed, Josephine asked, “Those are such lovely names. I don’t think I’ve ever heard them before. Do you know what they mean? Or where they came from?”

“Apparently, they’re the names of minor goddesses from some far-off or long-ago culture that my Tama read about when she was growing up in Par Vollen, and she always remembered them. Lahkesis means ‘gifted by fate or divine will’ because that’s how they saw me. Tisiphone means ‘She who avenges the wrongfully murdered’. And Adrestia means ‘she who cannot be escaped’.” Josephine recoiled at the last two name meanings, and Adrestia responded, “Oh yeah, Qun or not, my parents are still qunari. You give them the chance to name something, they will choose something awesome, threatening, and dramatic.” Josephine’s confusion broke with a small giggle.

Adrestia continued, “So, they were just getting settled when I came along. My papa… Well, you know how fathers get about their daughters especially their first girl. He couldn’t spoil me, but if there was something he could do, I only needed to ask once. He was there for me whenever I needed him, even when I didn’t want him to. He listened to me no matter what, even when he had no idea what I was talking about. He didn’t really understand a lot of what my Tama and me were practicing, but he adored us both all the same. He’s my papa… 

As soon as I was able to listen- about 7 or 8- my Tama started teaching and training me on how to be a Tamassran: how to listen, how to figure out what people need, how to carry and present myself, how to take my natural empathy and sharpen it so I can talk to and help anyone… I would watch her, how she dealt with people, how they reacted to her, and I wanted to be just like her. She wanted me to know everything she did, to have every precious bit of wisdom and guidance she could give, and she wanted me to add to it. She was strict and demanding, but she believed in me, she was proud of me, and when I got something right or perfected something, she made me feel like Andraste reborn on earth. Papa always said I take after my mother, and that always makes me happy because … my Tama is my hero.

When my magic first manifested, I could see how scared they were, but they just hugged me.- Mine was pretty standard or as standard as magic can be: weird and vivid dreams, her voices calling you, then one day, we’re sitting at dinner, and my papa wishes his drink was colder. My Tama didn’t say, but the brief grimace on her face meant she agreed. Then, I wished my drink was colder and POOF! All the drinks were frozen … and the food in front of us … and the breath coming from my mouth- They told me they loved me, and they always would. They told me all the stories I’m telling you, and they told me I made all of it worthwhile. They told me that no matter what, they would never abandon me or throw me away, that they always cherish me, and I would always be their daughter. Even then and definitely now, I knew, as a mage, hearing that and them meaning every word is the most precious gift they could’ve ever given me. They got another Vashoth mage to train me, and I wanted to show them everything I learned. And whenever I showed them something new I mastered, they weren’t scared … they were so proud of me. Imagine that: two parents, two qunari parents, being proud of their mage daughter. I love my Tama and my Papa so much…”

Adrestia paused as her mood visibly started to tumble, her voice hitching through her last few sentences, her eyes prickling and starting to glisten. Josephine got a sinking feeling as Adaar’s story went on, detecting something terrible coming. A twinge in her chest already, she tenderly took one of Adaar’s hands into both of hers. Adrestia took a deep stuttering breath and pushed herself to continue…

“There was a, uh… One day, a minor lord found his way into my Tama and my father’s shop; he was looking to relocate into Rivain, and that’s when he happened upon my Tama. He took a fast liking to her and her advice and her wisdom and her empathy, and very quickly started to value her opinion and even followed some of her guidance. Then, when he finally got his land after about a year, he offered to let us settle on a piece of his land and use it like our own, hoping it would make it easier for him to see my mother whenever he needed to talk. For us, it was a lot more and better than what we had, and it was even closer to the apothecary. So, my parents accepted the offer, we moved in right away, and I was still little, so that’s where we lived most of my life. Eventually, however, the lord died, and his estate went to his two sons.” 

Josephine noted how Adrestia’s jaw clenched as she spoke of them. “They were … only a year or two older than me at that time. Two sixteen-year-old boys, having just had their first few lessons and tastes of Orlesian politics and ‘The Grand Game’. So, they decided to ‘play’ with some of their inheritances including the land we lived on. As I understand it, they had a couple of disagreements over some antique family furniture, with our land as more or a piece of the package than a primary focus. The boys then started gaming and conniving around each other, neither with any regard for others or any discretion or any subtlety or grace…” 

Josephine went pale as she was painfully aware of this type of situation and started imagining all the potential, terrible scenarios of entitled boys with too much wealth and unchecked influence: all things they could ruin if it were in their way, all the lives they could cripple without a care, all the things they could destroy on a whim or worse, their own amusement. Adrestia’s mood continued to fracture, her breathing growing ragged, struggling to hold herself together as the recollection was just as painful as ever. “One day, their aunt and several of her daughters, their cousins, came to visit and see the land. There was … a bandit attack, right outside of our home. My Tama and papa instantly intervened to help and protect the aunts and cousins. The bandits didn’t expect my parents to be there, so they … didn’t hold back. My mother and father were murdered, gave their lives to shield the Lady and her daughters. I was off on a day-long magic training session with her teacher, but when I came home…” 

Adrestia’s tears finally fell and she had to stop. Josephine caressed her partner’s cheek, but Adrestia had more to tell. “The bandits got scared after the fight and ran off. The aunt and her daughters were of course terrified, so as soon as they were clear, they ran off as fast as possible back to the main manse as well. They just … left my Tama and my Papa lying there…

I don’t know how many times I tried to dispel it, hoping, praying it was a demon’s illusion… I don’t know how many times I tried to wake up, hope it was a Fade dream… I don’t know how or when I got down on the floor or how long I stayed there on the floor next to them. Eventually, I heard people coming, so I hid… It was the two boys … laughing and joking.” Josephine’s brow furrowed in sad realization of what most likely occurred. “You probably guessed it already. It wasn’t a random attack; those bandits were paid, and it was set up by them separately. Apparently, they’d both had the same ludicrous idea to set up the attack to scare their aunt and cousins, so they’d dissuade the other. Then, the bandits tricked them both into the scheme, so they got paid twice for the same job. Idiots. The boys were laughing about how they’d been had.”

Adrestia’s next revelations were given through gritted teeth, her now-angry tears streaming down her face. “They saw my parents’ bodies, and you know what they said… ‘Well, it looks like we lost a pair of cattle’. ‘It’s okay. You can get quality oxen anywhere’. They walked around my parents’ dead bodies and were making ox jokes for minutes. MINUTES! … I wanted to go out there. I wanted with everything in me to face them … but I didn’t. Maker, help me, I didn’t. I couldn’t, and I knew I couldn’t. I was just a 14-year-old qunari mage, and they were two human nobles. Between templars, Ben-Hassrath, demons … I would’ve been dead within the week.

That’s why… Josephine, I know you and Leliana and Vivienne love it, but I despise The Game. That is why. That’s also why I never want to be called an ‘oxman’ ever again. Every time I hear that word, I’m back in that hiding spot, my parents inches away, and those two bastards laughing. It’s because my parents were murdered in cold blood and thrown aside because two people richer than them decided they were nothing more than a pair of livestock and cared about them even less.” 

Instinctively, Josephine thought of defense for the Game, but there was no defending against this heartache. Thus, she simply held Adaar’s hand again to comfort her. Adrestia noticed the look on the Antivan woman’s face anyway. “I’m sorry, Josephine. I know I’m speaking out of grief. I didn’t mean to offend you.”

Josephine quickly said, “No, no, darling. I quite understand. And you’re … sadly not mistaken.”

Looking to Josephine, as is often the case, Adrestia’s anger melted away, but this time, her agony remained. “Anyway, I, uh… I could only wait for them to leave. So, I stayed hidden until they were gone. After that, all I could do is get my parents ready. I—”

“You…” Josephine asked in crestfallen shock, “You prepared your parents’ bodies?”

Adrestia slowly nodded. “It’s another one of a Tamassran’s duties, another thing my Tama taught me. Once they were ready, I took them to a secluded part of the property, which only the three of us knew about, and … lay them to rest, under ‘their’ tree. I always wonder… I should’ve…” Adrestia’s voice cracked and softened as she tried to hold from breaking completely. “I should’ve been there. I could’ve done something. I…”

“Adrestia, no—”

“I know. I know that… I know I would’ve probably been killed too. But all I keep thinking is … then that should’ve happened anyway. Even if I would’ve died, I should’ve died with them. That’s all I saw at Adamant, in the Fade. That’s all I’ve seen in the Fade since. Then, the people at the Conclave, the people at Haven, the lost templars… It should’ve been me. And all I can say is…” Her tears began streaming again. “I know…”

Josephine got up on her knees on the couch and held Adaar’s face in her hands, “No, Adrestia, do not think like that. If nothing else, think on this and remember: if you weren’t here, none of us would be here. We would not have made it this far or even had a chance to fight. If you weren’t here, all these people, from all different backgrounds, with all different experiences would not have come together, would not have ingratiated so well with each other, not without your efforts. You’ve saved so many lives, at Haven, at Redcliffe, at Adamant, all over Thedas. And you’ve saved so many of our lives personally and repeatedly; not an expedition goes by that I do not get several reports of you saving our friends. Then, for me…” Josephine’s voice turned tender. “For me, without you, I do not believe I would have survived the House of Repose.”

Adrestia shook her head before saying softly. “You’re too clever, too resourceful. You would’ve found a way.”

“Maybe or maybe not. You however were the difference. Your care for me, your determination to keep me safe. You made my survival a certainty. If something had happened to you before, then … I would never have had the pleasure of meeting you and getting to know the compassionate, dedicated, valiant woman that you are. And if you were not here, I would not have such a wonderful partner.”

“I’m the lucky one to have you. Thank you.” Adrestia said so softly it was almost a whisper. Adaar’s tears finally stopped but she remained downcast. “It’s been almost 10 years now, and it still hurts… The truth is I think losing your parents, you don’t really fully recover from it; you just … learn to keep going. All I keep thinking is … how much I wish they were here and how much they would’ve loved all of this. They would’ve loved everyone here. Papa would’ve loved Varric’s stories; he and The Iron Bull and the Chargers would’ve had great times together; he would’ve liked working and trading stories with Blackwall. Then, my Tama…She would’ve been ecstatic. She would definitely have set up shop here. She would’ve made fast friends with Enchanter Fiona; she would’ve had some interesting discussions with Vivienne; she would’ve never wanted to stop talking to Cassandra and Cole. Oh, they both would’ve loved you, especially my mother. My Tama would’ve absolutely adored you… That’s why I can’t leave anyone behind. That’s why I got so scared when you were targeted. That’s why I fight so hard. I never want to feel like this again about anyone. I never want anyone to go through this if I can help it. I never want to lose anyone else ever again.”

Josephine cradled Adrestia’s face and lightly kissed her lips. As they separated and rested their foreheads together, Josephine whispered sweetly. “ _Ti penso ogni sempre. Sono pazzo di te. Mi hai cambiato la vita. Ti adoro. Sei il mio eroe._ ” 

Adrestia finally smiled and whispered back, “Yes, I am the lucky one… And might I add: you speaking Antivan is probably the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.”

Relief and happiness building up as she felt the proverbial storm passing, Josephine shed a small smile. “I meant every word, my darling.”

The couple came in closer with Adrestia wrapping her arms around Josephine again, and Josephine pressed into the embrace, feeling the tension leaving Adaar’s arms, shoulders, and body and relaxing in kind. They began kissing lightly and warmly. Adrestia took in and indulged in Josephine’s sweet scent, her soft skin, her silky hair, and her tender kiss. Josephine giggled as Adrestia’s kiss began traveling down to her neck and ear, but then had to fight back the gasps and moans that threatened to escape when her lover added small bites to her skin. Eventually, they coasted to a halt and went silent as Josephine rested against Adrestia’s chest, both warm and content. A large yawn rumbled through and out of Adrestia, Josephine feeling in her body the entire way. Josephine lifted herself out of the embrace and sat back on her knees…

“Are you alright?” Josephine asked softly.

“I think I’ve…” Adrestia said as another yawn flowed out of her, “I think I’ve had enough revelations for today. I think I should turn in for the night.” A slightly mischievous smirk flashed on her lips as she ran her hands over Josephine’s waist and her hips. “You’re more than welcome to join me, Lady Montilyet.”

“Perhaps a little later. There are still several things I wish to do before I retire for the night…” A flash of remembrance ran over Josephine’s eyes followed by a flash of dangerous intent. Adrestia felt a chill as she recognized. Josephine’s voice stayed cordial, but the look in her eyes stayed. “There is one thing I must know before you go: the two boys, the lord’s two sons… What are their names?”

“Alphonse and Sylvan Deveraux—Wait, why?”

Picking up her pen and paper the same way one would brandish weapons, Josephine replied, “I simply wish to speak with them.”

“Josephine—”

Giving an accommodating smile that didn’t reach her whole face, Josephine’s voice remained diplomatic even as the fire in her eyes grew. “I simply wish to **speak** with them.”

Adrestia gently took her hand. “Josephine, please… I haven’t decided what I want to do with them yet. Besides, right now, we have more important matters. When I do figure out what should happen, however, we’ll do it together.”

Josephine said with a nod, “Very well. But if you ever wish to discuss or you decide you’re ready, do let me know…” The Antivan’s sweet voice and tone then gained a terrifying edge. “I have quite a few ideas.”

They both stood. Adrestia again brought Josephine in close, and the couple engaged in a deep, loving kiss. After a moment, they finally separated with both breathless…

Adrestia said low and sweet, “Josephine Montilyet, you truly are a wonder. Thank you so much for today and tonight.”

Josephine said with the brightest smile, “It was my pleasure, my darling. And thank you for a lovely day.”

Adrestia gave Josephine another quick peck. They finally separated, and Adrestia took her leave to her quarters…

-X-

Josephine headed up to Adrestia’s quarters to finally rest. The new couple had not yet been intimate, simply due to constant interruption and lack of opportunity. However, Josephine had accepted Adrestia’s invitation and taken to sleeping in Adaar’s room. It was closer to her office. It was luxuriously comfortable due to Adaar’s Grand Orlesian bed. She enjoyed the feel and scent of her partner on the sheets. Importantly, it was a way to stay close to Adrestia whenever the Inquisitor was away. And when Adrestia was there, truly little could best sleeping in each other’s arms for the pair. 

Josephine got to the top of the stairs to find Adrestia … sleeping quietly and peacefully. The qunari woman barely moved and made little noise, only her body rising and falling with her breathing. A wave of relief washed over Josephine to see Adaar calm and still as opposed to the past few nights that saw her partner barely relaxing and visibly troubled. The relief ebbed away and was replaced by affection as she approached the bed; Josephine deeply appreciated how lovely Adrestia was in this restful and content state … and she couldn’t refrain. She gently caressed Adaar’s cheek and laid a light kiss on her temple. Adrestia didn’t stir. 

Josephine quickly and quietly shed her garments down to her smallclothes and slid into the bed with her back to Adaar. The qunari woman stirred, feeling around for the shift in the bed, until her arm found Josephine’s waist. Absently, Adrestia pulled Josephine close to her chest and nuzzled her face to her lover’s hair.

Adrestia mumbled in her sleep, “Soft … silky. Her dress … under her dress… Mm mm, cuore mio Josephine…”

Josephine smiled to herself as she got warm all over at the adoration. She pressed closer into her lover’s hold and laced her fingers with Adaar’s. For the first time in weeks, Adrestia slept peacefully through the night.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: There we have it. Thank you again for reading, I hope you liked it, and I hope you come back to read more from me. And, as always, Rant, Rave, and Review.


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